So today I found them, and they were even on sale!
Showing posts with label traditions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label traditions. Show all posts
10.5.09
I guess the labour day rule doesn't apply?
I have never been one to wear white shoes past labour day. Not because I'm a stickler, but because I just never wear white shoes (except maybe runners. The wedding is the exception to this rule. If you scroll way back to the beginning of this blog you'll read about my Bridezilla-ness about red shoes, trying to have them all to myself and then the overwhelming sense of need to wear white shoes with my (essentially) white dress.
So today I found them, and they were even on sale!
So today I found them, and they were even on sale!
3.5.09
Luck
Wikipedia's entry on weddings discusses the 'something old, something new ...' poem:
A modern tradition is for brides to wear or carry "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" during the service. It is considered good luck to do so. Often the bride attempts to have one item that meets all of these qualifications, such as a borrowed blue handkerchief which is "new to her" but loaned by her grandmother (thus making it old). Another addition to this custom is to wear a penny in your shoe, this will bring you prosperity.
The full text of the verse is:
Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue,
And silver sixpence in your shoe
Weddings, sure like many rites of passage, comes loaded with lore and superstition. I don't personally prescribe to superstition, usually, but I figure on one's wedding day you can't be too careful. Not only am I not sure what I will use as these talismans, but I'm not sure about the etiquette and I'm having a hard time finding answers. Can you request the borrowed piece? Or does it have to be voluntarily loaned to you? How old is "old"? I have blue eyes, does that count?
26.4.09
What's in a name?
As I have mentioned, my BFF of 15 years, will be married soon. 20 days from now, to be exact. She, like many women (most women?) will be taking her husband's name.
I was thrilled to hear that they got engaged, and I have enjoyed our simultaneous wedding planning and it is truly a special time and it's very exciting that we got to do it in synch. I do, however, hesitate when I think of her being Janna New-Last-Name and not Janna Original-Last-Name anymore. This is not because I don't think she should change it, or that I think his last name is unpleasant, or even that I think her first and middle names don't match his last name; it's really just because she will, at least on paper, be someone else.
Now, I know she won't change who she is and I don't think she is compromising her integrity in any way, but I know for myself, the quandary of possibly changing my name is something I have been mulling over for years and I continue to, with no solid resolve. If I believe nothing changes, then why the hesitation?
Growing up, my mother had her first husband's last name and I had(have) my father's. My parents were never married. I admit that, at times, I had the childhood longings for a "normal" family, a more nuclear unit, where everyone belonged to everyone and we all had a name in common. I also remember when my parents broke up, believing, in my 7 year old's heart, that had they been married they might have stayed together.
As an adult, I understand that such things are not so simple. I also believe that if I could feel this way, so could my child(ren).
I know that historically women were possessions and marriage contracts were all business, and that by taking his name, a transfer of ownership, from your father to your husband, was cemented. Does this mean that every woman who changes her name is "honouring" this unpleasant history and condoning it? I don't believe so. I think that whatever my choice is (and thankfully I have that choice)it will be reflective not of centuries of oppression (or railing against it) but of me, here, and now. I believe I could change my name and not lose anything. But what would I gain? A family name? Is that enough?
The leap from my name to Rob's is not a big one. They both start with L, both have 2 syllables and both are French. Not really much of a stretch. But still, it would be a new name! I have spent 27 years with the one I have, and frankly, not only am I used to it, but I like it. My first and middle names sound fine with his last name, it's not awkward, not ill-fitting, but still ... it's not mine.
I offered up the idea that he change his name to mine. He didn't bite. When I asked why not, his reply was "I like mine better". So why isn't it that simple for me? It's that history! Those centuries of ingrained "how-to".
Obviously, I have not decided. But I'd like to. Soon. Thoughts?
I was thrilled to hear that they got engaged, and I have enjoyed our simultaneous wedding planning and it is truly a special time and it's very exciting that we got to do it in synch. I do, however, hesitate when I think of her being Janna New-Last-Name and not Janna Original-Last-Name anymore. This is not because I don't think she should change it, or that I think his last name is unpleasant, or even that I think her first and middle names don't match his last name; it's really just because she will, at least on paper, be someone else.
Now, I know she won't change who she is and I don't think she is compromising her integrity in any way, but I know for myself, the quandary of possibly changing my name is something I have been mulling over for years and I continue to, with no solid resolve. If I believe nothing changes, then why the hesitation?
Growing up, my mother had her first husband's last name and I had(have) my father's. My parents were never married. I admit that, at times, I had the childhood longings for a "normal" family, a more nuclear unit, where everyone belonged to everyone and we all had a name in common. I also remember when my parents broke up, believing, in my 7 year old's heart, that had they been married they might have stayed together.
As an adult, I understand that such things are not so simple. I also believe that if I could feel this way, so could my child(ren).
I know that historically women were possessions and marriage contracts were all business, and that by taking his name, a transfer of ownership, from your father to your husband, was cemented. Does this mean that every woman who changes her name is "honouring" this unpleasant history and condoning it? I don't believe so. I think that whatever my choice is (and thankfully I have that choice)it will be reflective not of centuries of oppression (or railing against it) but of me, here, and now. I believe I could change my name and not lose anything. But what would I gain? A family name? Is that enough?
The leap from my name to Rob's is not a big one. They both start with L, both have 2 syllables and both are French. Not really much of a stretch. But still, it would be a new name! I have spent 27 years with the one I have, and frankly, not only am I used to it, but I like it. My first and middle names sound fine with his last name, it's not awkward, not ill-fitting, but still ... it's not mine.
I offered up the idea that he change his name to mine. He didn't bite. When I asked why not, his reply was "I like mine better". So why isn't it that simple for me? It's that history! Those centuries of ingrained "how-to".
Obviously, I have not decided. But I'd like to. Soon. Thoughts?
8.4.09
Oh to be showered with gifts!
My friend (and maid of honour) Janna's bridal shower is this Friday! I have never been to a bridal shower but I do know what they are for: GIFTS! Traditionally they were all about outfitting a bride with domestic necessities (pot holders anyone?) and later evolved into an excuse to *literally* outfit the bride-to-be in anything slinky and kinky.
I asked Janna what would be embarrassing to open in front of her soon-to-be mother in law (and her own mother) and the only resounding answer was sex toys of any kind. Since that is easily the most personal item one could buy, I would never venture to presume what would be adequate anyway.
I am happy to say, though, that her non-silicone, no-batteries-required gift is wrapped, the card is written and it is waiting for Friday afternoon's High Tea.
How exciting!
I asked Janna what would be embarrassing to open in front of her soon-to-be mother in law (and her own mother) and the only resounding answer was sex toys of any kind. Since that is easily the most personal item one could buy, I would never venture to presume what would be adequate anyway.
I am happy to say, though, that her non-silicone, no-batteries-required gift is wrapped, the card is written and it is waiting for Friday afternoon's High Tea.
How exciting!
28.3.09
Entourage
I was thinking of what to give my lovely bridesmaids as thank you gifts for all their participation and support leading up to the wedding when I stumbled across these.
These aren't quite right for my girls, as cute as they are, I don't think they'd get much use out of them but I love the playful spin on the classic gift of flasks for groomsmen.
This got me thinking about wedding parties and what they mean to us. For Rob and I, choosing who would stand up with us was a no brainer. Some people will tell you there's a formula for how big you wedding party should be based on the number of guests you are inviting. And while I will agree that 9 bridesmaids at a wedding of 50 guests would look odd, I also think that these "rules" are antiquated notions, and that you should do whatever the heck you feel like! If you can't pick and choose and you really want to include all your sisters, a cousin or two, some friends and your new sisters in law, well, gee whiz, just do it! Just remember that more 'maids means more money (more bouquets, more thank you gifts, more dresses, hair and makeup)
We each chose 4 people to be in the wedding party, and I am so happy to say that they were the right people. I absolutely know that there will be no drama, no issues and all the love and support we could want or need. These are our best friends and we are so honoured they said yes.
Nowadays the wedding party is just a bonus, an extra, and although traditional, not necessary, but historically the wedding party served a very different purpose than it does today. While in our era the wedding party is a way to honour your friends and family by having them stand up beside you when you make the commitment of a lifetime, in the past things were a bit different.
In many parts of the world it was once believed that evil spirits would try to hurt the bride or interrupt the proceedings, so the tradition evolved that her closest friends and sisters would dress alike to her, thus becoming decoys to confuse the spirits. Presumably, this is why, still to this day, bridesmaids typically all dress the same.
Likewise, groomsmen developed to aid the groom before and at the wedding. In times when marriages were more politics than romance, the groomsmen were employed to be at the ready in case the bride needed to be kidnapped in order to have the marriage happen. They also acted as security guards at the ceremony, should anyone try to derail the proceedings. This is also why, typically, when you are looking at a (Western) wedding ceremony,the bride is on the left and the groom on the right: this allowed for the groom to have faster, clearer access to his sword (or other weapon) in case there was any funny business.
These aren't quite right for my girls, as cute as they are, I don't think they'd get much use out of them but I love the playful spin on the classic gift of flasks for groomsmen.
This got me thinking about wedding parties and what they mean to us. For Rob and I, choosing who would stand up with us was a no brainer. Some people will tell you there's a formula for how big you wedding party should be based on the number of guests you are inviting. And while I will agree that 9 bridesmaids at a wedding of 50 guests would look odd, I also think that these "rules" are antiquated notions, and that you should do whatever the heck you feel like! If you can't pick and choose and you really want to include all your sisters, a cousin or two, some friends and your new sisters in law, well, gee whiz, just do it! Just remember that more 'maids means more money (more bouquets, more thank you gifts, more dresses, hair and makeup)
We each chose 4 people to be in the wedding party, and I am so happy to say that they were the right people. I absolutely know that there will be no drama, no issues and all the love and support we could want or need. These are our best friends and we are so honoured they said yes.
Nowadays the wedding party is just a bonus, an extra, and although traditional, not necessary, but historically the wedding party served a very different purpose than it does today. While in our era the wedding party is a way to honour your friends and family by having them stand up beside you when you make the commitment of a lifetime, in the past things were a bit different.
In many parts of the world it was once believed that evil spirits would try to hurt the bride or interrupt the proceedings, so the tradition evolved that her closest friends and sisters would dress alike to her, thus becoming decoys to confuse the spirits. Presumably, this is why, still to this day, bridesmaids typically all dress the same.
Likewise, groomsmen developed to aid the groom before and at the wedding. In times when marriages were more politics than romance, the groomsmen were employed to be at the ready in case the bride needed to be kidnapped in order to have the marriage happen. They also acted as security guards at the ceremony, should anyone try to derail the proceedings. This is also why, typically, when you are looking at a (Western) wedding ceremony,the bride is on the left and the groom on the right: this allowed for the groom to have faster, clearer access to his sword (or other weapon) in case there was any funny business.
Sweet Libations
We are in the process of organizing the bar for the wedding. Our fantastic friend and Day-Of Coordinator, Reesa has recommended a bartender to us, and although we have accomplished many emails, we have yet to find a mutually conducive time to meet and discuss details. Not because we are all a bunch of boozers, but because a party means some drinking, and for some more than others.
Since our reception space is "self-catered" meaning we have to bring in everything we had many choices from full bar to limited, cash or open. We decided that even though the bar is a pretty hefty cost, because we will be purchasing the liquor, wine and beer ourselves and only otherwise paying for a bartender's time and skills, that we would give our guests as much as we can, with an open bar full of all the basics for cocktails and highballs, as well as beer, and wine on every table. This is the advantage of NOT having a wedding in a restaurant or hotel (though they can be beautiful and have many perks too) there is not a cost per drink being recorded as every guest requests their favourite beverage, and then a humongous bill at the end of the night. I would be very uneasy about that ... consumption bars are scary!
One thing that all the wedding magazines, books and websites talk about as a cost cutter/"original" touch for weddings is a signature cocktail. The idea is that this drink has some special meaning to you, suits your colour scheme, and can be made in batches for quick pouring.
(it's also a nice opportunity to have a cute "something blue")
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18.3.09
The importance of being earnest
I've said it before and I will say it again: I am surprised by how traditional my wedding will be. Absolutely we have dropped some traditions and bypassed some of the more formal aspects of weddings, but all in all, it is shaping up to be quite ...typical. And even more surprising, I'm okay with that.
13.3.09
... and something blue
In case your right hand is jealous, just bedazzle it with one of these suckers from Birks:
from top:
heart shaped 3.5 carat aquamarine and diamond ring in 18K white gold
8mmx6mm oval cut blue topaz in 18K yellow gold
1.37 carat sapphire with a halo of micro pave diamonds set in 18k white gold
"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in your shoe" is one of my favourite wedding traditions. I love the idea of being mindful of something old from your life before marriage, welcoming the new, borrowing the luck from a happily married woman you love, and carrying something blue (to remind yourself of being virtuous. ha! we all know what THAT one means!)
And a sixpence in your shoe: excellent if you need to stop and make a call in a Dickensian phone booth? But seriously, a symbol of monetary fortune is not a bad thing to start out your marriage with.
from top:
heart shaped 3.5 carat aquamarine and diamond ring in 18K white gold
8mmx6mm oval cut blue topaz in 18K yellow gold
1.37 carat sapphire with a halo of micro pave diamonds set in 18k white gold
"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in your shoe" is one of my favourite wedding traditions. I love the idea of being mindful of something old from your life before marriage, welcoming the new, borrowing the luck from a happily married woman you love, and carrying something blue (to remind yourself of being virtuous. ha! we all know what THAT one means!)
And a sixpence in your shoe: excellent if you need to stop and make a call in a Dickensian phone booth? But seriously, a symbol of monetary fortune is not a bad thing to start out your marriage with.
12.3.09
Red Shoes
via the southern weddings daily blog
Much like in my earlier post on bouquets, I have to admit that I was originally gung-ho about wearing coloured shoes under my ivory dress, particularly red ones.
There is something about red shoes that imbibes the wearer with whimsy, sass and sex appeal, all three are great things to be, so why not on your wedding day?
But the more I pondered on it, and the more images of red shoes I downloaded and collected as inspiration, the more I began to realize that it wasn't quite right for me. As much as I liked the idea and the photos I have seen of pairs upon pairs of cute red shoes poking out from under the meringue-like skirts of wedding gowns, I decided that for me, something more understated felt more authentic.
This came after a lengthy thread on Facebook with my bridesmaids in which I explained that ONLY I should be wearing red shoes and
Bridezilla much? Yeah. Terrible.
All is well that ends well, though. They will be stunning in black knee length dresses to show off their cute red shoes and I will get the dose of no-shock tradition that I never knew I needed.
Soft focus
The veil. Is there anything more iconic of a bride?
I have heard that many women don't feel like a bride, or have the serious reality check that it's actually happening, until they see themselves in a veil. The dress is one thing, but topping your head with a yard or two of something soft and gauzy can be more than enough to open the flood gates and leave you teary, gazing at your own face in the misty soft focus that only a whispered halo of tulle can produce.
Alas, I did not have this "moment". I'm not bitter about it, but admittedly, I was looking forward to the usual swoon. I did, however, have that throat tightening gasp of excitement when I saw a veil placed upon my best friend Janna's head. It was quite amazing how transforming the veil was. She had just found THE dress (it was perfect, gorgeous, amazing, etc.) but that veil. Man, oh man. All of a sudden she looked the part, completely.
Later that same day, I too found my dress. I too tried on a veil or two. Alas, it was all wrong. Not just because they didn't suit the dress, but they didn't suit me.
What on Janna had looked feminine and delicate, fit for a princess, on me looked awkward, clownish and out of place. Luckily, I have no particularly vested interest long flowing veils. I do, however, happen to love [love!] birdcage veils like these ones.
I have yet to try one on (birdcage), so I am not sure if they work on me, but there is something cute and classic about them. Despite the unfortunate history of the wedding veil,(here you'll find a brief description of that history) I have fingers crossed that I like the way they look on as much as I like them on other people and in photos. I have done some research on how to DIY a birdcage veil and it seems easy enough. Perhaps I will try crafting one and post the results of my attempts here. More on that later!
9.3.09
White Bouquets
So classic. So beautiful.
via fayeandgreer.blogspot.com
I always fancied myself a non traditional bride to be. Not that I ever spent much time in nuptial fantasies, but whenever I considered an image of myself being married, I was always carrying a brightly coloured clutch of blooms. Well, the truth has reared it's head and the verdict is in: I'm a sucker for classics.
via fayeandgreer.blogspot.com
I always fancied myself a non traditional bride to be. Not that I ever spent much time in nuptial fantasies, but whenever I considered an image of myself being married, I was always carrying a brightly coloured clutch of blooms. Well, the truth has reared it's head and the verdict is in: I'm a sucker for classics.
1.3.09
More on cake...
Thankfully the days of fruitcake as wedding cake are almost over! When it comes to the deep mahogany coloured, booze spiked, peel and nut studded fruitcake, I have one slice per year, and only at Christmas. Truth be told I don't usually finish it, I just pick the marzipan off.
So when looking at images of cakes and thinking of flavours, Rob (that's the fella I'm marrying)and I went as far from that age-old confection as we could.
The short list was:
Lemon poppy seed with strawberry filling
Coconut with passion fruit filling and vanilla butter cream
Pistachio with mocha filling and vanilla-bean butter cream
Red Velvet with Cream cheese frosting
The winner is ... coconut with passion fruit filling and vanilla butter cream!
Much like this beauty from Martha Stewart, only smaller ...
So when looking at images of cakes and thinking of flavours, Rob (that's the fella I'm marrying)and I went as far from that age-old confection as we could.
The short list was:
Lemon poppy seed with strawberry filling
Coconut with passion fruit filling and vanilla butter cream
Pistachio with mocha filling and vanilla-bean butter cream
Red Velvet with Cream cheese frosting
The winner is ... coconut with passion fruit filling and vanilla butter cream!
Much like this beauty from Martha Stewart, only smaller ...
Let them eat cake
Of all the wedding traditions, for me, the most iconic is the cake.
It may be that I have cake on the brain because tomorrow is my birthday and I am setting out to make myself (and my friends and family) a 6 layer neopolitan (chocolate, strawberry and vanilla) cake, but really, what else says wedding like a stacked, sweet confection, possibly topped with a cute couple or kissing doves/swans? I love the symbolism: something sweet to start your new life with, and the ideas around the cake standing for fertility isn't so bad either. (though we aren't there yet!)
I have toyed with bucking tradition in a few areas of our upcoming wedding, but when it comes to the cake, I am just too attracted to traditional wedding cakes to stray very far. One thing that kills me though, is the price of wedding cakes. Like everything else wedding related, the W-word increases the price astronomically. We have decided to splurge on an incredible cake stand by Clara French Ceramiques and save on the cake by having my lovely Aunty April co-bake it with me. We are both skilled bakers and since there is zero interest in anything complex (like covering it with fondant!) she and I feel quite confident we can pull it off. As for the cake stand, have you ever seen anything so beautiful? We are getting the "flora" pattern in white with black accents. I think it will make a beautiful keepsake/heirloom and I'd rather spend the $ on an artisan's ceramics than on cake that will just be eaten, or worse yet, tossed out.
It may be that I have cake on the brain because tomorrow is my birthday and I am setting out to make myself (and my friends and family) a 6 layer neopolitan (chocolate, strawberry and vanilla) cake, but really, what else says wedding like a stacked, sweet confection, possibly topped with a cute couple or kissing doves/swans? I love the symbolism: something sweet to start your new life with, and the ideas around the cake standing for fertility isn't so bad either. (though we aren't there yet!)
I have toyed with bucking tradition in a few areas of our upcoming wedding, but when it comes to the cake, I am just too attracted to traditional wedding cakes to stray very far. One thing that kills me though, is the price of wedding cakes. Like everything else wedding related, the W-word increases the price astronomically. We have decided to splurge on an incredible cake stand by Clara French Ceramiques and save on the cake by having my lovely Aunty April co-bake it with me. We are both skilled bakers and since there is zero interest in anything complex (like covering it with fondant!) she and I feel quite confident we can pull it off. As for the cake stand, have you ever seen anything so beautiful? We are getting the "flora" pattern in white with black accents. I think it will make a beautiful keepsake/heirloom and I'd rather spend the $ on an artisan's ceramics than on cake that will just be eaten, or worse yet, tossed out.
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