Entourage

I was thinking of what to give my lovely bridesmaids as thank you gifts for all their participation and support leading up to the wedding when I stumbled across these.



These aren't quite right for my girls, as cute as they are, I don't think they'd get much use out of them but I love the playful spin on the classic gift of flasks for groomsmen.

This got me thinking about wedding parties and what they mean to us. For Rob and I, choosing who would stand up with us was a no brainer. Some people will tell you there's a formula for how big you wedding party should be based on the number of guests you are inviting. And while I will agree that 9 bridesmaids at a wedding of 50 guests would look odd, I also think that these "rules" are antiquated notions, and that you should do whatever the heck you feel like! If you can't pick and choose and you really want to include all your sisters, a cousin or two, some friends and your new sisters in law, well, gee whiz, just do it! Just remember that more 'maids means more money (more bouquets, more thank you gifts, more dresses, hair and makeup)
We each chose 4 people to be in the wedding party, and I am so happy to say that they were the right people. I absolutely know that there will be no drama, no issues and all the love and support we could want or need. These are our best friends and we are so honoured they said yes.

Nowadays the wedding party is just a bonus, an extra, and although traditional, not necessary, but historically the wedding party served a very different purpose than it does today. While in our era the wedding party is a way to honour your friends and family by having them stand up beside you when you make the commitment of a lifetime, in the past things were a bit different.

In many parts of the world it was once believed that evil spirits would try to hurt the bride or interrupt the proceedings, so the tradition evolved that her closest friends and sisters would dress alike to her, thus becoming decoys to confuse the spirits. Presumably, this is why, still to this day, bridesmaids typically all dress the same.

Likewise, groomsmen developed to aid the groom before and at the wedding. In times when marriages were more politics than romance, the groomsmen were employed to be at the ready in case the bride needed to be kidnapped in order to have the marriage happen. They also acted as security guards at the ceremony, should anyone try to derail the proceedings. This is also why, typically, when you are looking at a (Western) wedding ceremony,the bride is on the left and the groom on the right: this allowed for the groom to have faster, clearer access to his sword (or other weapon) in case there was any funny business.

Sweet Libations

We are in the process of organizing the bar for the wedding. Our fantastic friend and Day-Of Coordinator, Reesa has recommended a bartender to us, and although we have accomplished many emails, we have yet to find a mutually conducive time to meet and discuss details. Not because we are all a bunch of boozers, but because a party means some drinking, and for some more than others.

Since our reception space is "self-catered" meaning we have to bring in everything we had many choices from full bar to limited, cash or open. We decided that even though the bar is a pretty hefty cost, because we will be purchasing the liquor, wine and beer ourselves and only otherwise paying for a bartender's time and skills, that we would give our guests as much as we can, with an open bar full of all the basics for cocktails and highballs, as well as beer, and wine on every table. This is the advantage of NOT having a wedding in a restaurant or hotel (though they can be beautiful and have many perks too) there is not a cost per drink being recorded as every guest requests their favourite beverage, and then a humongous bill at the end of the night. I would be very uneasy about that ... consumption bars are scary!

One thing that all the wedding magazines, books and websites talk about as a cost cutter/"original" touch for weddings is a signature cocktail. The idea is that this drink has some special meaning to you, suits your colour scheme, and can be made in batches for quick pouring.

(it's also a nice opportunity to have a cute "something blue")

Registered and ready to go

We finished our wedding registry today and let me tell you, it was WORK!
Sure, it's fun, but in order to put together a well thought out registry, you have to be considerate. Now, I know the concept of a registry seems selfish, and in truth, I was hesitant to do one. I'm the sort of person who feels like a real cad for making a Christmas or birthday wish list, let alone running madly through the aisles of my favourite department store zapping all the luxurious items I'd never buy myself. But then I thought about it. I have been a guest at weddings where the couple registered and I appreciated it. I was grateful for the guidance, and buying online is convenient and easy. And really, I don't even care what it looks like or feels like, because they have already selected it, and who am I to judge? I just want them to have something they will love and treasure. Likewise, being aware that weddings are a gift giving occasion and that most people will want to gift us with something, why not let them know what would be most appreciated? (and what would be most our style)Besides, anything that doesn't get selected off the registry is 10% off for us ... presents and a sale? Um, yeah. That's okay in my books.

The importance of being earnest

I've said it before and I will say it again: I am surprised by how traditional my wedding will be. Absolutely we have dropped some traditions and bypassed some of the more formal aspects of weddings, but all in all, it is shaping up to be quite ...typical. And even more surprising, I'm okay with that.

Emerald. Olive, Celadon. Jade. Lime. Chartreuse. Mint.

Gorgeous green.
Today's post calls for an homage to the beauty of green, being that it is St. Patrick's Day.

With spring approaching, I'm sure that many a starry-eyed bride is incorporating a lush shade of green into her wedding. From fresh and bright, to deep and luxurious, green delivers a whopping punch of colour and pairs beautifully with many other colours like pink, purple, blue, yellow and white, Preppy or pastoral, green is good!

Let's talk about colour ...

Pre engagment, pre wedding-frenzy I thought the idea of "wedding colours" was lame and way too matchy-matchy. I also feared slipping over the precipice of insanity into ridiculous land and becoming obsessed with the exact shade of said wedding colours. For the longest time the whole concept made me think of that scene in Steel Magnolias (saddest movie ever. don't see it. okay, see it if you haven't ever because it's fantastic, but be warned: it's the saddest movie ever) where Julia Roberts' character is asked what her "colours" are for her upcoming wedding and she replies "blush and bashful". Then her mother (played by Sally Field) pipes up and says so sweetly in her Southern drawl: "Her colours are pink, and pink."

When you first say you are having a wedding, one of the most common and most excited questions is/will be "What are the colours?" I have learned that colours are by far the easiest way to create some cohesion (dare I say theme?) and sense to all of your aesthetic decisions. This palette helps with flowers, dresses, decor, paper goods, for some couples, even the food! It also gives you a starting point. Colours can be your aesthetic compass. Choosing them is the problem.

Rob and I both love the fall and Thanksgiving so we will be married over the (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend this year. Initially "autumn" was a great starting point for colours/the feel of the event. One snag: I'm not a fan of fall colours. Brown? Not so much. Orange and yellow? Not my style. Red? Now we're getting somewhere ...

We didn't stay pure and true to the season, but we also knew that pastels would be out of place, so would any bright tropical combinations, and that it would still be a bit early for a cold wintery palette of greys, whites and blues. Having a shared love of bygone eras, old films and secret desires for an opulent, casual, dancing-at-the-supper-club and evening-out-at-the opera type lifestyle, we decided on a vintage-glam deco-esque affair outfitted in white and black with red and a dose of pewter and silver to keep things sparkly. Not only do the deeper colours suit the will-be weather (quite possibly rain, it is Vancouver after all) they suggest an era, a look and a feel simply by being placed together. All this being said, I am not a fan of themes, but a simple, tied together look? Absolutely.

Ignoring the Peanut Gallery

This is some of the best advice I have seen/heard/read/repeated about weddings.

It comes from the clever blogger at A $10,000 Wedding. It is so easy to be swept away. Sometimes the fun and romance and glamour of weddings can really get out of hand. So can the opinions, hissy fits and expectations of the people around you.

It's one day. It should be beautiful and memorable and special, but it's still just one day. And it's yours. So make it everything you want it to be.

... and something blue

In case your right hand is jealous, just bedazzle it with one of these suckers from Birks:




from top:
heart shaped 3.5 carat aquamarine and diamond ring in 18K white gold
8mmx6mm oval cut blue topaz in 18K yellow gold
1.37 carat sapphire with a halo of micro pave diamonds set in 18k white gold

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in your shoe" is one of my favourite wedding traditions. I love the idea of being mindful of something old from your life before marriage, welcoming the new, borrowing the luck from a happily married woman you love, and carrying something blue (to remind yourself of being virtuous. ha! we all know what THAT one means!)
And a sixpence in your shoe: excellent if you need to stop and make a call in a Dickensian phone booth? But seriously, a symbol of monetary fortune is not a bad thing to start out your marriage with.

Red Shoes

via the southern weddings daily blog

Much like in my earlier post on bouquets, I have to admit that I was originally gung-ho about wearing coloured shoes under my ivory dress, particularly red ones.
There is something about red shoes that imbibes the wearer with whimsy, sass and sex appeal, all three are great things to be, so why not on your wedding day?
But the more I pondered on it, and the more images of red shoes I downloaded and collected as inspiration, the more I began to realize that it wasn't quite right for me. As much as I liked the idea and the photos I have seen of pairs upon pairs of cute red shoes poking out from under the meringue-like skirts of wedding gowns, I decided that for me, something more understated felt more authentic.
This came after a lengthy thread on Facebook with my bridesmaids in which I explained that ONLY I should be wearing red shoes and requesting that they not wear red shoes to go with their black dresses.
Bridezilla much? Yeah. Terrible.

All is well that ends well, though. They will be stunning in black knee length dresses to show off their cute red shoes and I will get the dose of no-shock tradition that I never knew I needed.

Soft focus

The veil. Is there anything more iconic of a bride?

I have heard that many women don't feel like a bride, or have the serious reality check that it's actually happening, until they see themselves in a veil. The dress is one thing, but topping your head with a yard or two of something soft and gauzy can be more than enough to open the flood gates and leave you teary, gazing at your own face in the misty soft focus that only a whispered halo of tulle can produce.

Alas, I did not have this "moment". I'm not bitter about it, but admittedly, I was looking forward to the usual swoon. I did, however, have that throat tightening gasp of excitement when I saw a veil placed upon my best friend Janna's head. It was quite amazing how transforming the veil was. She had just found THE dress (it was perfect, gorgeous, amazing, etc.) but that veil. Man, oh man. All of a sudden she looked the part, completely.

Later that same day, I too found my dress. I too tried on a veil or two. Alas, it was all wrong. Not just because they didn't suit the dress, but they didn't suit me.
What on Janna had looked feminine and delicate, fit for a princess, on me looked awkward, clownish and out of place. Luckily, I have no particularly vested interest long flowing veils. I do, however, happen to love [love!] birdcage veils like these ones.

I have yet to try one on (birdcage), so I am not sure if they work on me, but there is something cute and classic about them. Despite the unfortunate history of the wedding veil,(here you'll find a brief description of that history) I have fingers crossed that I like the way they look on as much as I like them on other people and in photos. I have done some research on how to DIY a birdcage veil and it seems easy enough. Perhaps I will try crafting one and post the results of my attempts here. More on that later!

White Bouquets

So classic. So beautiful.



via fayeandgreer.blogspot.com

I always fancied myself a non traditional bride to be. Not that I ever spent much time in nuptial fantasies, but whenever I considered an image of myself being married, I was always carrying a brightly coloured clutch of blooms. Well, the truth has reared it's head and the verdict is in: I'm a sucker for classics.

Momentum

Have you ever gotten to a point on a project where you have accomplished a lot, but you haven't seen it come to fruition? Where most of the foundational pieces are in place, but not all, and you just want to get down to the details and play with the specifics? THAT'S WHERE I AM WITH WEDDING PLANNING!

Done

~ Venue for ceremony and reception rented
~ Photographer booked (check Jana out; she's brilliant!)
~ Marriage commissioner booked
~ Dress bought
~ Caterer booked
~ Day-Of Coordinator booked (my lovely friend Reesa from Cloud Nine Events)
~ Cake baker established (see cake posts below, cake design kind of figured out
~ Ceremony written
~ My ring
~ Bridesmaids and groomsmen chosen
~ M.C. chosen (super excited about this one!)
~ Invites designed
~ Save the Dates made (but not sent)


Still to do

~ Transportation - do we really want/need limos?
~ Flowers
~ Music (we are doing an ipod/laptop wedding so there are many play lists to be built)
~ Suits/tuxes for the guys
~ Rob's ring
~ Get invites printed
~ Send Save the Dates
~ Shoes!
~ Gifts for wedding party and parents
~ Book wedding night hotel
~ Decide on Honeymoon destination and book it.
~ Complete/finalize guest list

~ A million other details ....

I'm anxious to get to the less "nuts and bolts" part. I'm itching to be down to purely aesthetic choices and just indulge in the beauty of the event. When will that come? After I check a few more things off the list, I guess.

Stylish Fellows

The guys in the wedding party, including Rob, will be wearing ever so stylish ties by Cyberoptix Tie Lab, my new favourite Etsy shop
We chose a pattern for each guy that represents one of his hobbies, interests or personality and coordinated them with the colour scheme we are working with (black & white, crimson & charcoal)

Love is meant to be shared

I suppose I should provide some more context to these postings and step away, for a moment, from the less critical things (like the 2 posts devoted to cake, below).

Why a wedding?

Short answer:
Because it's just what people do.

Long answer:
When Rob and I decided to get married we had been together for almost 8 years, and living together essentially from the beginning. Many people have asked why we are bothering to get married, since we pretty much are already. We knew that despite the cost, and fuss and logistics, we wanted to have a wedding. Although it's "just what you do", we also felt very strongly that deciding to spend the rest of your lives together is worth doing publicly, worth saying out loud for all to hear. Plus, we both love to throw a great party.

We have done away with some traditions (no garter toss ... eek! not our style) and we are trying to keep things fairly relaxed. The most surprising thing to me is just how traditional some of our (my) wedding desires really are. I'll wear white (well, ivory, but still...) We have chosen bridesmaids and groomsmen. There will be a reception with a buffet dinner and dancing. Sounds like a wedding, right? Good. That's what we're aiming for.

It seems that the biggest challenge is keeping it real, keeping it "us". It is very easy to get sucked into the wedding vortex and pop out swathed in yards of tulle, kissing under a white balloon arch with a string quartet, 7 flower girls, and 400 of your nearest and dearest looking on. (not that there's anything wrong with that if that's your style). It's also easy to have complete mental breakdowns when you can't get calla lilies with 20" stems and you have to settle for 18". How will the world keep turning? It can be tough to keep it all in perspective and keep it about what matters: you are marrying the love of your life.

So why did we choose the agony of a wedding? We could have just as easily marched down to city hall, or had a marriage commissioner meet us in a local park. We could have uttered our vows privately, without fanfare and then just gone out for a nice dinner. We chose a wedding, with all it's agony, for it's ecstasy.

When all is said and done we will have spent a tidy sum, and we will have a momentous day to look back on. We will have stories to tell our children, words of wisdom for other young lovers looking to make it "official" and photos to help us recall all the painstakingly planned details. More than that, we will have an anniversary to celebrate, and memories of all our friends and family enjoying the day with us.

For us that is the ultimate: the sharing. This Love is big. This Love is deep. This Love is ours.

And, without a doubt, this Love is meant to be shared.

More on cake...

Thankfully the days of fruitcake as wedding cake are almost over! When it comes to the deep mahogany coloured, booze spiked, peel and nut studded fruitcake, I have one slice per year, and only at Christmas. Truth be told I don't usually finish it, I just pick the marzipan off.
So when looking at images of cakes and thinking of flavours, Rob (that's the fella I'm marrying)and I went as far from that age-old confection as we could.

The short list was:
Lemon poppy seed with strawberry filling
Coconut with passion fruit filling and vanilla butter cream
Pistachio with mocha filling and vanilla-bean butter cream
Red Velvet with Cream cheese frosting

The winner is ... coconut with passion fruit filling and vanilla butter cream!
Much like this beauty from Martha Stewart, only smaller ...

Let them eat cake

Of all the wedding traditions, for me, the most iconic is the cake.
It may be that I have cake on the brain because tomorrow is my birthday and I am setting out to make myself (and my friends and family) a 6 layer neopolitan (chocolate, strawberry and vanilla) cake, but really, what else says wedding like a stacked, sweet confection, possibly topped with a cute couple or kissing doves/swans? I love the symbolism: something sweet to start your new life with, and the ideas around the cake standing for fertility isn't so bad either. (though we aren't there yet!)

I have toyed with bucking tradition in a few areas of our upcoming wedding, but when it comes to the cake, I am just too attracted to traditional wedding cakes to stray very far. One thing that kills me though, is the price of wedding cakes. Like everything else wedding related, the W-word increases the price astronomically. We have decided to splurge on an incredible cake stand by Clara French Ceramiques and save on the cake by having my lovely Aunty April co-bake it with me. We are both skilled bakers and since there is zero interest in anything complex (like covering it with fondant!) she and I feel quite confident we can pull it off. As for the cake stand, have you ever seen anything so beautiful? We are getting the "flora" pattern in white with black accents. I think it will make a beautiful keepsake/heirloom and I'd rather spend the $ on an artisan's ceramics than on cake that will just be eaten, or worse yet, tossed out.